idle to idol

This evening the American Idol season finale arrives at last, airing live from Los Angeles’ new Nokia Center.  Part one took place last night, when the two remaining contestants, emo-glam rocker Adam Lambert squared off with Southern acoustic rock heart-throb Kris Allen.  The winner’s slated to be crowned tonight in a two hour-plus extravaganza.  You read that right.  Two hours.  The running time of the Idol finale is fast approaching Oscar night proportions.

Now I’m going to request we skip the part of the conversation where we all pretend we’re not American Idol fans.  Don’t worry, this is a safe zone .  You’re among friends.  Our interactions here are based on honesty, so c’mon, come clean now.  You’re a huge fan.  No need to look around in mock confusion, attesting to having never seen an episode of the show, much less one this season.  We’re skipping that entirely.  

You love American Idol, and you know you do.  You can name every Idol from season’s past.  You know this year’s contestants by heart and can probably dissertate at length about their best performances of the season.  

Don’t be ashamed any longer.  You watch Idol; I watch Idol; everyone in damn America watches Idol.  The country hasn’t had such a guilty pleasure like this since Perfect Strangers went off the air.

The reason I bring this up is because – as I’m CERTAIN you already know – the odds-on favorite for tonight is a little unique among the pantheon of Idol contestants.  Here’s the poorly kept secret: frontrunner Adam is gay.  

Now sure, there have been gay contestants before.  The difference with Adam is that he doesn’t appear to give a shit who knows about it.  Pictures of him – with past boyfriends, dressed in drag, frequenting gay clubs – have surfaced left and right – Lambert’s done nothing to stop it.  Still, the fact has remained unmentioned on the show thusfar.  But you better believe there’s been a messload of code being talked on that stage.  No doubt it’s got the Fox execs doing their share of worming and squirming.

All of which brings me around to my point.  Wouldn’t it great if, after winning tonight, Adam stands up there, streamers falling, lights blazing, crowd cheering, grins to the camera and declares, “Your new American Idol is gay!”

If ever there was a cultural moment for such a stunt, this is it.  Hell, even Iowa has legalized gay marriage.  Red-staters are ready to embrace gay America, a slow-to-develop fact reflected in the steady and inexorable creep of acceptance that’s increasingly trickling into opinion polling.  What young people could use now is the right kind of role model.  I don’t want to foist the task on Lambert, but in the end, there is no platform in media quite like American Idol.

C’mon, Adam, you’re destined for super-stardom no matter the controversy.  How about treating us to the biggest coming-out party in human history?