jacko lives!

“No warmth, no breath shall testify thou livest;

The roses in thy lips and cheeks shall fade

To wanny ashes, thy eyes’ windows fall

Like death when he shuts up the day of life;

Each part, deprived of supple government,

Shall, stiff and stark and cold, appear like death.

And in this borrowed likeness of shrunk death

Thou shalt continue two-and-forty hours,

And then awake as from a pleasant sleep.”

                                                                   -Romeo & Juliet

                                                                     4.1.98-106

This morning at 8AM PST, Michael Jackson will be laid to rest in the Forest Lawn Cemetery in LA’s Hollywood Hills.  At 10AM the real extravaganza begins, complete with a massive media circus to commence at the Staples Center in downtown.  There 1.6 million fans have competed for 17,500 tickets to a glitzy, star-studded memorial service that will spill over into the nearby Nokia Center, and simulcast over two jumbotrons, and presumably to a sea of television networks and live cable feeds.  But after all the pomp and hoopla, the King of Pop’s epic journey will finally reach its end.

Or will it?

Don’t all these details – the strange death, the oh-so-perfect timing of it all – seem a little uncanny?  Why haven’t we seen more pictures of the body?  Why does Jacko’s family look so giddy and lightsome in their public appearances?  Why can’t anyone produce a consistent explanation of MJ’s demise?  Is it possible that…?

Yes.  Oh yes.

You heard us right, friends. 

If there’s anything we here at A Farther Room love, it’s putting you right smack at the fore of a brand spankin’ new conspiracy theory.  So don’t for a second believe that Michael is gone, cuz he’s very much alive.  What we’re witnessing here is the greatest hoax ever perpetuated on the American public.

And when I say Michael is alive, I don’t mean “alive in our hearts,” or some happy crappy like that.  I mean MJ is alive and kickin’, moonwalkin’ and breathing, laughing somewhere over the fact that he finally escaped the white-hot watchful eyes of his lifelong overlord, that ever cruel and sadistic mistress, Madam Media.

Consider the evidence:

Exhibit A: The Death Photo

We’ve all seen the infamous death shot, snapped by a conveniently-placed paparazzi as MJ was dragged from his LA rental on a paramedic’s stretcher.  The lucky photog made a handsome 500k for the shot, and it’s since graced web browsers and magazine covers all over the planet. 

But take a closer look at the photo.

Is that the Jacko we’ve seen in recent years?  To my eye, the skin’s… well, blacker, less bleached and hideously pale, the nose not quite as thin or surgically mutilated.  Is it possible we’re looking at a cunningly doctored old-school snapshot of Jackson?  The case turns curiouser and curiouser when you compare it to this classic pic of Michael in his beloved hyperbaric chamber, culled from the pages of People magazine more than a decade ago. 

The body on that stretcher in the first picture, the body loaded into the ambulance and swept away to UCLA Medical Center, it wasn’t MJ, if there even was a body.  That scandalous photo is a shoddy mock-up, based on an older shot.  Phase one of the death hoax.

Exhibit B: The Corpse Rises

After Jackson was pronounced dead in Westwood and grieving fans mobbed the hospital in an impenetrable ring, authorities decided to chopper out the pop star’s body for immediate inspection by the coroner.  But feast your peepers on this shocking video footage! 

Keep a close eye on the shrouded corpse in the background. 

As soon as they clear the roof, it sits up!!!  Did Michael or his post-mortem impersonator get antsy playing possum in the helicopter?

Exhibit C: Jacko the Prankster

Jackson was a well-known media agitator, a lifelong martyr to the fiercesome appetites of the public.  But he was also a renowned prankster, obsessed with Elvis and the swirling legendry of the King’s continuing underground life.  He often donned masks and ducked paparazzi, and bedecked his kids with silly disguises.

But don’t take my word for it.  Here’s Lou Ferrigno, he of Muscle Beach and The Incredible Hulk fame, waxing on about MJ the trickster to the hosts of Good Day LA.

Catch the part about how Michael used to dress a mannequin double of himself and load it into the back of ambulances to draw away paparazzi?  Would it be so far afield for him to stage his own death to deflect their interests now?  

Damning revelations straight from the mouth of a Jackson confidante!  Thanks, Lou!

Exhibit D: Theoretical or Heretical?

Jackson had evolved into a recluse in recent years, fostering in isolated seclusion his delusions of persecution at the hands of the public and the press.  We know he didn’t want to perform the sold-out string of shows at O2 Arena in London, but felt too deeply indebted to avoid it.  We know also that the promoters and hypsters at AEG had hired doctors and trainers for Michael, pumped the shows to within an inch of life.  We know they were willing to wring Jackson for profits at virtually any cost. 

In the dwindling weeks of life, Michael had, according to reports, expressed a lack of enthusiasm about returning to the stage, even going as far as to voice a fear that he might be murdered by debtors, creditors, and associated ruffians.  The MJ brand was big business, but Michael wanted out.  Still, he couldn’t voice that.  Why?  Because there’d be repercussions.

Is it so much to believe that the King of Pop, lover of magic and illusion, staged one final vanishing act?  Why did the doctor on the scene at his LA home, who tried to “revive” him, not call 9-1-1 but rather leave it to others?  Why did he flee the scene when Michael “died?”  Why did he then avoid authorities and contact an attorney? 

Why aren’t there more photos of the deceased Jackson?  And why did his family look so jaunty in the aftermath of the demise? 

Sure, we’ve seen his kids mourning publicly and seemingly realistically, but had we ever seen them without their masks and disguises before?  Who’s to say these little apple-cheeked tikes aren’t cleverly cast child actors, hired to play the role of MJ’s elusive, teary-eyed angels?

Exhibit the Last: Sightings

Michael Jackson has performed the impossible – escaped a mountain of debt and his own fading artistic zeal.  He’s wedged his way into the musical firmament of gone-too-soon giants like Elvis and Lennon, and in doing so, choreographed his own denouement.  Best of all, he’s cunningly earned himself a rest-of-life vacation, traveling the world with only whimsy and whim as his guide, recreating his physicality and persona in longed-for anonymity, far from the prying eyes of journalists and fans alike. 

Take it from these reports – he’s already been sighted fleeing to Mexico!    

Thanks to the sleuths over at MichaelJacksonHoaxDeath.com, as well as James St. James over at the Wow Report.  Don’t ever stop searching, fellas!

The King of Pop has taken to the wind.  Jacko lives!